“[My sister] once texted me (instead of her husband) about how amazing her masturbation session was.”
When you’re too embaressed to face them
Texted my friend that I’d call her back after I was done pooping but I “ate White Castle the night before so it may be a good while.” I even put the little poo emojis at the end of the text.
Sent it to the painter I had been corresponding with all day who was actually downstairs starting on the kitchen. I wanted to die…
It was a Mexican Standoff.
I sent him an after text that just read “Please mail me the invoice. Sorry about that” and hid upstairs until he left. So much shame.
When you try to spice things up and it backfires
“Hope you’re naked when I get there.”
Sent to my son’s daycare provider; she’s 65 and 300 pounds.
Intended for my wife of the same first name.
The daycare lady handled the text well.
“You don’t want me to be naked. I’m glad you guys still have a spark.”